Mother of two juggles NZSAS Regiment and family life

Made up of badged NZSAS operators, supported by a raft of combat and non-combat support enablers, it is not the life many would associate with being able to juggle motherhood.

Mother-of-two, Soldier X is proof that’s not the case.

It’s 17 years since Soldier X* signed up for service with Ngāti Tūmatauenga, the New Zealand Army.

“Looking back now I honestly couldn’t tell you the specific reasons why I joined, but one thing that did play a part was that my sister had already signed up - she’d joined the Royal New Zealand Air Force a year earlier and came back with these stories about what they’d been doing and how her enlistment had gone. She painted a good picture.”

She was one of around 20 females on her basic recruit training course at Waiouru, which she said helped her through what was a challenging experience.

“Mine was an era that I’d say you weren’t necessarily treated very nicely, and it was a tough introduction. In some ways I think my lack of knowledge and understanding about military life is what got me through, because I kept thinking ‘just keep going, things will get better’.

“They didn’t necessarily get any easier, but I certainly got tougher.”

Soldier X then spent the next eight years of her military career at Burnham Military Camp, before ending her South Island stint on maternity leave, with her next posting planned to join the New Zealand Special Air Service (NZSAS) Regiment as an enabler on her return to work. 

“I came back into service almost a year to the day since having my first child. There was pressure on me knowing that I had a pretty high bar to meet straight away with fitness requirements and tests if I wanted to get involved with the Regiment’s operational squadrons.

“There’s no going around it, those tests are hard to meet – and they have to be. They are designed to push you, to make sure you have what it takes to serve in incredibly complex, fast-paced and hostile environments. But without a doubt, the hardest part was the pressure I put on myself.”

In her time with the Regiment, Soldier X has held various operational and support roles, experienced overseas engagements and deployments, and held senior roles in her squadron.

All while juggling family life as a mother of two. 

“I actually spent my second pregnancy in an operational squadron – a choice I actively pursued. Granted it was a desk job, but it was a hugely valuable experience not just for myself to remain in that role and contribute where I thought I could offer significant value, but it also exposed people here to the fact someone who was pregnant could still add value.

Similar to other units across the New Zealand Defence Force, she said managing deployments and being away from young children is the most challenging aspect, but that being transparent with her chain of command has really helped. 

“They, in turn, have been really accommodating and flexible to make sure that I am able to make it work, while also making the Regiment gets the best out of me too.” 

She’s now posted to a role which gives her responsibility and oversight of the soldiers in her squadron.

“I’ve had some incredible experiences with the Regiment over the years, and now I’m able to ensure those within my squadron are able to get after those experiences too. I love it. 

Soldier X said she didn’t know of any prior examples of women juggling motherhood and life in the Regiment when she was progressing through her career.

Reflecting on her journey, she said that she doesn’t want anyone – males or females, those with children or not – to self-impose limits on what they can do.

“If you want to do something, and if you want to get after something, being a parent shouldn’t and doesn’t discount you. If you’re skilled, can meet the requirements and are willing to do the hard work, then it will work. 

“The last thing I want is for somebody to put a barrier in place before even considering what’s possible. Had I done that, there’d be no story to tell.”