20 April 2010
By Captain Alexandrina Bojilova, NZSAS psychologist
“Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision”
You may have heard it before and yes, it is true … “It’s all in the mind”
As a psychologist who has never attempted selection, I cannot tell you what selection feels like. Even if I had endured selection myself, all I would be able to tell you is what it felt like to me and that interpretation will differ from every other candidate who has accepted this challenge. I could give you some tips from my psych book of resiliency, but it is up to you to find out which tip best fits with your mentality and your own needs.
Over the years I have come to realise that what motivates some, can be detrimental to others. Hence, all I can do for you is tell you the stories of those who have attempted selection; signal some of the self-defeating thoughts to look out for; tell you about some of the thought processes of those who have completed selection and hope you’ll get to test the substance of these bits of knowledge yourselves. So here are a few tips on how to fight the “gremlins” of self-doubt, hunger and physical pain based on the stories of those who have attempted selection.
The gremlins are examples of your self-preservation instinct working at its best. The gremlin of hunger tells you that if you don’t stop, you will starve yourself to death; the gremlin of pain tells you that if you don’t withdraw voluntarily, the discomfort you feel in your knee now will become a life-long injury; the gremlin of self-doubt tells you that serving with the SAS is not for you; and the gremlin which creates excuses in your mind, telling you that your “Mrs” will hate living in Auckland, that attempting selection was only your mates’ idea all along and you never really wanted it.
The first gremlin we typically see during selection is that of anxiety and self-doubt. We often see it emerge in the interview during pre-selection when candidates appear nervous and start telling us reasons why they are not well prepared or how their alternative options are also quite appealing. Often we can see anticipation and self-doubt mounting to a cloud of self-distractive anxiety and candidates say to us “all I want is to start selection and get it over with.” Some candidates shut themselves off, go into their heads and run themselves through what they think selection will feel like. Then, we may see fit, motivated, intelligent men come to the first day of selection and ’blow it’. They have ‘broken’ themselves before they even got to the start line because the anxiety and mental self-destruction has eaten away at their precious pool of adrenaline.
Many more get to day two and three of selection and withdraw voluntarily. Most of the time, these candidates say that having experienced the difficulty of selection up to this point, they convince themselves it is a losing battle and that they have no chance of passing. They decide to spare themselves the pain, potential injury and greater disappointment of being withdrawn by the directing staff or not meeting the timings. This is another gremlin of self-doubt and this gremlin can take many forms.
For example, some candidates come to selection with the view of making their families proud, showing their kids that their dad is a hero, and providing themselves with greater opportunities for the future. Suddenly by day three, these same candidates tell us that they have come to realise their kids don’t need a hero for a dad… they just need their dad to be there! Months of planning, training and preparation goes up in smoke as the candidate’s views of what life could be changes in a matter of minutes. Then there are others who, having invested years in preparation to achieve their dream of becoming an SAS operator, suddenly realise “this is not really for me…at least not at this stage in my life”. Or there are those who say in the pre-selection interview: “I have grown frustrated with peacekeeping deployments and the way the general Army runs business”, only to resign to the idea that “the battalion isn’t that bad” and decide that the SAS isn’t what they want after all.
What has always been interesting to me about such realisations is that they have little to do with the SAS and a lot to do with the gremlins of self-doubt. Selection does give you some idea about the demands of the role, but it is no more indicative of it than reading up on selection and doing the training programme.
What is more interesting is that all candidates experience similar gremlins, but the difference in those who get further is that they know how to shut them off. Importantly, those who dare and win aren’t necessarily fitter or smarter, they just know what to do with the gremlins when they show up, what to make of them and how to keep walking with the gremlins on their shoulders. So here are their stories of what to do when you see -
- The gremlin of “I don’t really want to serve with the SAS anymore” or “This is not for me”? Tell yourself “Well, I am here already, so I may as well keep going. When I complete selection and the Commanding Officer gives me an offer of service, I will tell him I need to think about it...”
- The gremlin of hunger and physical discomfort? Remind yourself one thing - selection is NOT designed to kill you or cause you harm. Dozens of experienced directing and medical staff are employed to look out for you. It is their job to worry about you, stop you or fix you if it looks like you are doing yourself harm. Your body can absolutely take it and you are no different to those who have gone before you. Your one and only job is to keep going until they tell you otherwise.
- The gremlin of “next time I’ll be fitter”? Tell yourself “Well, that may be so, but I am here now and I have to go as far as I can so I know for myself what to look out for.”
- The gremlin of “I am way off and I am stuffed…there is no way I can make it to the end”. Remember… as soon as you start doubting yourself you let anxiety take over you. You become slower, start taking more frequent breaks and start to escalate your doubt and the perception of pain and discomfort. Hence, each minute you spend focusing on this gremlin can stretch to an hour or more of your time towards the next check point. Instead of thinking about what’s yet to come, focus on the step in front of you. Tell yourself “I am good enough to take the next ten steps and reach the next checkpoint… that’s all that matters”.
Take one step, one checkpoint, one activity at the time.
Many of those who have completed selection tell me that as selection progresses, the gremlins reoccur with frightful regularity. That is, as the day progresses, you may get to experience despair, pain, and anxiety which may be followed by elation, relief and excitement. Then, you may go though this cycle each day and even several times a day. The way to address this is to choose what you focus on and to know that all you have to do is dismiss the self-defeating gremlins and get to the next check point. Those who win in the battle with the gremlins also realise that there may not be a second chance… they often tell themselves “I am not leaving unless they drag me out of here”. They realise that selection is all about here and now and focus on each step and each stage at the time.
Remember, selection is all about you and your unique ambitions. The win is not in completing selection, it’s in daring to combat the gremlins and overcome your own specific doubts. As the champion of objectivism, Ayn Rand, puts it: “People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don’t sit looking at it – walk.”
1NZSAS Selection Course 31 May–13 June 2010
- Pre-Selection: 31 May–1 June
- NZSAS Selection: 2 June–10 June
- Officer Testing: 11–13 June
If you have shown interest in becoming a member of 1NZSAS GROUP, here is a gauge of your progress so far:
- MED Board complete
- RFL complete within one month of course start date
- R tests complete/autobiography
- Afnz3 submitted
- Training programme well underway
- Mentally focused
- If you have any issues, call the recruiting cell phone 021 743 096
It’s a Long Way from a Rugby Field Stoush…
Learning how to fight at close quarters with a variety of weapons has, despite the black eyes, been one of the highlights on the SAS cycle so far, writes Private “G”.
The Close Quarter Battle (CQB) module of the Counter Terrorism (CT) Course lasted five days, and our instructor was ‘Tank’ Todd, assisted by SAS and Commando CQB instructors. The CQB module is conducted at the start of the CT Course so that the skills you learn can be employed in later modules.
It begins with the basic stances, and offensive and counter offensive moves, then progresses on to more advanced offensive and counter offensive moves. This involves dealing with unarmed and armed opponents with a variety of weapons. That the instruction came from Mr Todd himself was invaluable as his depth of knowledge from Special Forces and Law Enforcement around the world add realism to all training. His knowledge of training techniques and ‘colourful’ experiences using some of his techniques provide practical demonstrations that they work…very well.
The days were long, with after hours training from Mr Todd in the barracks at night as there was much to be learnt. The course was physical, with continuous practice and milling, all designed to prepare the students for the final testing phase which was a combination of all the techniques thrown at you in a random unfamiliar environment. The course for me was extremely interesting as I have had no formal CQB training before. I found it hard to change away from the basic fight mentality I had, but once you learn to employ the tactics efficiently the techniques prove how effective they are. To pass at the end we were required to perform offensive unarmed combat, perform counter offensive techniques against unarmed and armed opponents, and perform offensive techniques using a variety of hand held weapons.